H is for Horsemen
I'm doing flash fiction for this year's A to Z challenge, hope you enjoy!
Horsemen
The four horsemen perched on the hill, looking down into the valley below. One horse stark white, a crown perched on the head of its rider; the second rider, atop a fiery red horse, held a sword; the third rider held scales, his horse darkest black; and the last horse eerily pale, its rider dark in contrast. The lands scattered below them were peaceful in the dim light of dusk, the people in distant towns and villages unaware of the dangerous beings watching them, preparing themselves for what they must do.
The setting sun cast a blood red stain on the fields and meadows, almost like an omen of what was to come.
As night fell around them, the white rider started down the hill, ready for the beginning of the end.
The four horsemen perched on the hill, looking down into the valley below. One horse stark white, a crown perched on the head of its rider; the second rider, atop a fiery red horse, held a sword; the third rider held scales, his horse darkest black; and the last horse eerily pale, its rider dark in contrast. The lands scattered below them were peaceful in the dim light of dusk, the people in distant towns and villages unaware of the dangerous beings watching them, preparing themselves for what they must do.
The setting sun cast a blood red stain on the fields and meadows, almost like an omen of what was to come.
As night fell around them, the white rider started down the hill, ready for the beginning of the end.
Great tension and foreboding. I love the sun casting 'a blood red stain on the fields and meadows'.
ReplyDeleteThey 4 horsemen - not good news. I love the detail you have in here, just enough to paint the picture of what is to come and pull the reader in.
ReplyDeleteTasha
Tasha's Thinkings | Wittegen Press | FB3X (AC)
Good job-the suspense really hooked me. This would be a great opening paragraph.
ReplyDeleteNow I'm wondering if anyone has ever tackled this subject from the POV of the horsemen! Thought provoking.
ReplyDeleteSo eerily creepy and profound! I felt as though I was there, watching and waiting.
ReplyDeleteOh, creepy! The Four Horsemen are never good. You captured the suspense and eeriness well.
ReplyDeleteOh, creepy! The Four Horsemen are never good. You captured the suspense and eeriness well.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Chrys Fey. Well done, Laura!
ReplyDeleteIn sixth grade BFF and I used to wonder often about near misses with death. Love the 'beginning of the end.'
ReplyDeleteScribbles From Jenn - Visiting from the A to Z Challenge
Wow, that was fantastic. And so creepy as the white horse starts down that hill.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the 2015 A to Z Challenge!
A to Z Co-Host S. L. Hennessy
http://pensuasion.blogspot.com
I kept thinking apocalypse. Good job.
ReplyDeleteRevelations!
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't until I read 'a pale horse' that I realized you meant those four horsemen.
ReplyDeleteGreat writing, I'd love to read the rest of the story!
ReplyDeleteThe end is nigh! The crackpots are probably, like, "finally!" ;)
ReplyDeleteGreat story, Laura. :)
Love the way you build tension and atmosphere. Flash fiction is spot on for the AtoZ Challenge. Might do that myself next year!
ReplyDeleteThe apocalypse is here. You created a very ominous air.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Nick -- ominous indeed!
ReplyDeleteThats NAA bad Miss Laura (NAA. . . .HAH AHAHahahahahah ahahahah ah ahahahha a ha ha ha)
ReplyDeletedid justice prevail in the end? no?
ReplyDeleteReminded me of Soul Edge (the playstation game) loved it, great job. Sharing on my fb page.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't help but think of the Four Horsemen in the Discworld books as I read this. ;-)
ReplyDelete