My Fear of Failure

So, two assignments are due in on Wednesday for my Creative Writing Masters. I've never been so scared to fail something in my life! Possibly the reason for this is that I'm doing something I really enjoy, and I really want to do well at it. When I was at university doing my English Literature undergrad, I worked hard on my assignments but I didn't give them my all. I kind of thought, "Oh, I'll be alright!" With these assignments I'm dedicating all of my spare time and energy to them, but every time I go back and read what I've done I feel like it's not good enough, and that I'm just going to fail.

For the first assignment I did on this course, I got the best mark I've ever gotten while at university, better than all of my undergrad marks. You would think this would make me feel better, instil a little confidence in me, but it tends to make me think "What if that was a fluke?"

I'm spending all day today and tomorrow going over everything, and I'm going to try and make them as good as I possibly can. At least I know that I've tried my absolute hardest. I'm hoping these are just silly insecurities, and that I've done my assignments better than I think I have.

I'm kind of grateful for these feelings, though. If I didn't fear failing these assignments so much, I probably wouldn't give them my all, or work so hard to do well. I think you need to have a fear of failure to be able to do anything well, otherwise you just wouldn't care enough.

Anyway, that's my venting done for today! This would have made a good ISWG post, but alas, it's not that time of the month!

Comments

  1. Anonymous14 January 2013 at 14:27

    Good luck with your assignments, I'm sure you'll do brilliantly :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson14 January 2013 at 14:32

      Thanks! I can't wait until Thursday, when it'll all be over! Well, until the next one's due, anyway :)

      Delete
  2. Anonymous14 January 2013 at 14:34

    I'm sending thoughts of success and confidence your way right now! Good lcuk with the assignments!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ghadeer14 January 2013 at 14:58

    Good luck, Laura! I'm sure it wasn't just fluke- you are a good writer and you'll ace this.

    ReplyDelete
  4. smug princess14 January 2013 at 15:06

    I'm sure since you're worried they are great! I was the same way in my undergrad, kind of half-a**ed it, and I kind of regret it, even though I did well in school. I'm jealous that you're getting your masters. I wish I could go back, but it's just not feasible right now. Good luck. I can't wait to hear that you did awesome!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson14 January 2013 at 15:08

      I wish I had tried harder in my undergrad, I kind of see this as a second chance. Thanks, hope I don't disappoint! :)

      Delete
  5. Outcast14 January 2013 at 16:37

    Like everybody else I just want to wish you best of luck in this Laura. You're an intelligent young lady with a lot to offer and in all honesty while fear of failure is natural you don't need to have it because I know if you put in the effort then you're going to be fine so hopefully you don't stress or worry too much.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson14 January 2013 at 18:17

      Thanks! I'm trying not to, I'll be relieved once I've handed it in on Wednesday, assuming I can get there with all this snow!

      Delete
  6. Tonja Drecker14 January 2013 at 18:23

    Congrats on that good grade! I'm sure you'll do great. Actually, I think a bit of nervous doubt is healthier than an over dose of self-confidence. If nothing else, it shows that you care.

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    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson14 January 2013 at 19:16

      Thanks! That's true, I do keep thinking it's probably a good thing that I'm not confident about my work!

      Delete
  7. Tyrean Martinson14 January 2013 at 18:29

    This would have been a great IWSG post. I'm sure you'll do well on this assignment. I think you're right about a little bit of insecurity being a good thing, as long as it's not overwhelming. Have you had a friend review your work with you, so you can get feedback from them? I've found that really helps when I'm nervous about something I've written.

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    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson14 January 2013 at 19:18

      I've had my sister read most of it, and she assures me it's very good (she wouldn't lie either, if she thinks my work is bad she will tell me!) She's helped me to edit a lot of it, too; she's a great beta reader!

      Delete
  8. Rob Z Tobor14 January 2013 at 20:41

    I am sure everything will be OK Miss Laura because you are doing it because you want to do it not because you have to do it.

    But I will wish you good luck anyway.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson14 January 2013 at 21:05

      Thanks! I've nearly finished it now, and I'm more confident :)

      Delete
  9. Cherie Reich15 January 2013 at 00:04

    I'm sure it'll be better than you think. Although I used to do that too ... think I failed when I actually did very well. Good luck!

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    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson15 January 2013 at 10:33

      Thanks! I tend to do it a lot, and when I think I've done really well I tend to do quite badly!

      Delete
  10. Heather Murphy15 January 2013 at 01:39

    I'm sure you are gong to do great! You have me nervously excited for you :) Let us know how it goes

    ReplyDelete
  11. Tammy Theriault15 January 2013 at 06:02

    i'm sending the good jujubee vibes your way!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. DWei15 January 2013 at 09:35

    I don't fear failure anymore. Because it's only a failure if you give up and I realized I'm too tenacious to give up on almost everything.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson15 January 2013 at 10:33

      This is true, well I certainly haven't given up :)

      Delete
  13. Anonymous15 January 2013 at 16:07

    I'm sure you've done a lot better than you give yourself credit for! It's good that you have this attitude as it does make you work harder :)

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    Replies
    1. Laura Clipson15 January 2013 at 16:08

      I hope so! It really does, I've worked so hard on these assignments!

      Delete
  14. L.G. Keltner18 January 2013 at 17:10

    I always second guess myself endlessly when I'm working on something I really care about. You're not alone!

    ReplyDelete

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