Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family by L. G. Keltner
Today I'm hosting L. G. Keltner, who is here to promote her new novella.
I’d like to thank Laura for hosting me today! It’s great to be here to promote my Christmas novella Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.
I’d like to talk to all of you about fruit cake. Poking fun at the ever-present fruit cake is a holiday pastime for many. Clearly plenty of people must like it, because it continues to sell. Businesses would stop making fruit cakes if they didn’t sell year after year.
However, if you’re one of those who doesn’t appreciate this fruity bakery item, there are ways to use the fruit cakes that vindictive family members may gift to you over the holidays.
Tip #1: Cut the fruit cake and dip the smaller pieces into melted chocolate. Let the chocolate cool, then serve the treats on an attractive platter at any family or office gathering. In my experience, when people see something covered in chocolate, they’ll tend to bite into it without too much additional thought. If people ask what they are, just call them truffles.
Tip #2: Make a sauce using your favorite hard liquor as a key ingredient and drizzle it over the fruit cake. People who may not otherwise enjoy fruit cake may be willing to try it to get to the boozy goodness.
Tip #3: If you end up with a bunch of fruit cakes, make a small wall outside. You can build a snowman in front of it and tell people your snowman is a comedian, or you can build a snowman peeking up from behind it and tell them that it built the wall to prevent being bombarded by snowballs. Neither one may be all that funny, but it will take care of your fruit cake problem.
Do you have any tips about what to do with unwanted fruit cake?
Now, here’s a brief snippet from my Christmas novella Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family.
* * *
Ruth Ann beamed, and my dad, who’d been looking severe for the last twenty-four hours, cracked a smile. “You sure do know how to flatter an old woman, dear,” she said.
“I do try to be nice on occasion, even if it’s just to shock people,” I replied.
* * *
Dani Finklemeier has decided to write a self-help book about how to take over the world, but she’s not sure where to start. After all, she’s only seventeen and looking for a better way to make money than babysitting. She buys a self-help book that promises to teach her how to write a self-help book in the hope of getting the job done.
Not that it’ll be easy to get any work done this holiday season. Her family is staying at the house for Christmas, and fights break out almost immediately. Dani also has to deal with the fallout from an unexpected kiss with her best friend Seth and the feelings that go along with it. On edge around her family and unsure how to interact with the one person she’s trusted with everything in the past, she can only take what inspiration she can from the crazy circumstances surrounding her and see what happens.
One way or another, it should be an interesting holiday.
Title: Self-Help 101 or: How I Learned to Take Over the World Through Tolerating My Family
Author: L.G. Keltner
Cover Art: L.G. Keltner
Release Date: December 1, 2015
L.G. Keltner spends most of her time trying to write while also cleaning up after her crazy but wonderful kids and hanging out with her husband. Her favorite genre of all time is science fiction, and she’s been trying to write novels since the age of six. Needless to say, those earliest attempts weren’t all that good.
Her non-writing hobbies include astronomy and playing Trivial Pursuit.
You can typically find L.G. lurking around her blog, on Twitter, or on her Facebook page.