My Fear of Failure

So, two assignments are due in on Wednesday for my Creative Writing Masters. I've never been so scared to fail something in my life! Possibly the reason for this is that I'm doing something I really enjoy, and I really want to do well at it. When I was at university doing my English Literature undergrad, I worked hard on my assignments but I didn't give them my all. I kind of thought, "Oh, I'll be alright!" With these assignments I'm dedicating all of my spare time and energy to them, but every time I go back and read what I've done I feel like it's not good enough, and that I'm just going to fail.

For the first assignment I did on this course, I got the best mark I've ever gotten while at university, better than all of my undergrad marks. You would think this would make me feel better, instil a little confidence in me, but it tends to make me think "What if that was a fluke?"

I'm spending all day today and tomorrow going over everything, and I'm going to try and make them as good as I possibly can. At least I know that I've tried my absolute hardest. I'm hoping these are just silly insecurities, and that I've done my assignments better than I think I have.

I'm kind of grateful for these feelings, though. If I didn't fear failing these assignments so much, I probably wouldn't give them my all, or work so hard to do well. I think you need to have a fear of failure to be able to do anything well, otherwise you just wouldn't care enough.

Anyway, that's my venting done for today! This would have made a good ISWG post, but alas, it's not that time of the month!

Comments

  1. Good luck with your assignments, I'm sure you'll do brilliantly :)

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    1. Thanks! I can't wait until Thursday, when it'll all be over! Well, until the next one's due, anyway :)

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  2. I'm sending thoughts of success and confidence your way right now! Good lcuk with the assignments!

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    1. Thank you, they are much appreciated!

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  3. Good luck, Laura! I'm sure it wasn't just fluke- you are a good writer and you'll ace this.

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  4. I'm sure since you're worried they are great! I was the same way in my undergrad, kind of half-a**ed it, and I kind of regret it, even though I did well in school. I'm jealous that you're getting your masters. I wish I could go back, but it's just not feasible right now. Good luck. I can't wait to hear that you did awesome!

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    1. I wish I had tried harder in my undergrad, I kind of see this as a second chance. Thanks, hope I don't disappoint! :)

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  5. Like everybody else I just want to wish you best of luck in this Laura. You're an intelligent young lady with a lot to offer and in all honesty while fear of failure is natural you don't need to have it because I know if you put in the effort then you're going to be fine so hopefully you don't stress or worry too much.

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    1. Thanks! I'm trying not to, I'll be relieved once I've handed it in on Wednesday, assuming I can get there with all this snow!

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  6. Congrats on that good grade! I'm sure you'll do great. Actually, I think a bit of nervous doubt is healthier than an over dose of self-confidence. If nothing else, it shows that you care.

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    1. Thanks! That's true, I do keep thinking it's probably a good thing that I'm not confident about my work!

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  7. This would have been a great IWSG post. I'm sure you'll do well on this assignment. I think you're right about a little bit of insecurity being a good thing, as long as it's not overwhelming. Have you had a friend review your work with you, so you can get feedback from them? I've found that really helps when I'm nervous about something I've written.

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    1. I've had my sister read most of it, and she assures me it's very good (she wouldn't lie either, if she thinks my work is bad she will tell me!) She's helped me to edit a lot of it, too; she's a great beta reader!

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  8. I am sure everything will be OK Miss Laura because you are doing it because you want to do it not because you have to do it.

    But I will wish you good luck anyway.....

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    1. Thanks! I've nearly finished it now, and I'm more confident :)

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  9. I'm sure it'll be better than you think. Although I used to do that too ... think I failed when I actually did very well. Good luck!

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    1. Thanks! I tend to do it a lot, and when I think I've done really well I tend to do quite badly!

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  10. I'm sure you are gong to do great! You have me nervously excited for you :) Let us know how it goes

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  11. i'm sending the good jujubee vibes your way!!

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  12. I don't fear failure anymore. Because it's only a failure if you give up and I realized I'm too tenacious to give up on almost everything.

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    1. This is true, well I certainly haven't given up :)

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  13. I'm sure you've done a lot better than you give yourself credit for! It's good that you have this attitude as it does make you work harder :)

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    1. I hope so! It really does, I've worked so hard on these assignments!

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  14. I always second guess myself endlessly when I'm working on something I really care about. You're not alone!

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