2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest!

So, in a moment of madness on Friday I entered the 2nd Annual Flash Fiction Blogfest, although I have very little writing experience. But I thought it would be a good way of getting some!

Here are the rules:
1. Entries must begin with the two words: Lightning flashed.
2. Entries must be 300 words or less and be in prose. I'm not versed enough in poetry verse to judge it properly.
3. Entries must be posted on your blog between May 21 - 23.
4. You must sign up in the linky to have your entry be counted.
If you want to join in, the host of the blogfest is located here: Cherie Reich's blog.

Here is my entry:

Lightning flashed across his face as he stood in the dark bedroom. The weather, which had been restless all night, had finally broken and rain spattered the windows.  He looked out into the dark street, drinking in all of the details; the overflowing wheelbarrow in the front garden, the battered Fiesta in the driveway, the flickering orange street lamp. Things he usually cared little about, but knowing that this would be the last time he would see them, he couldn’t look away.

Mentally he shook himself, and turned his attention to the bedroom, his eyes drawn to the sleeping figure in the bed. She always looked so peaceful while she was sleeping; he almost changed his mind…almost. Her dark hair was splayed on the pillow, and he could hear her soft breathing. He pulled the crinkled paper out of his pocket, and laid it onto the pillow next to her head. She moved restlessly, as if she subconsciously knew something wasn’t right.

He looked around the room one last time, trying to fix all of the details permanently to his memory. A single tear slid down his cheek as he glided down the stairs and out of the front door, into the stormy night. 

Comments

  1. Wow. I don't believe you have little writing experience, that was heart wrenching. Great job!

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    1. Thank you! I was really nervous about putting it up, you've made me feel better!

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    2. No probs, it was fantastic.
      I've nominated you for a lovely blog award :) http://strangerthanwriting.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/sunshine-award.html

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  2. You set the mood perfectly, and I felt for the character. Without knowing all of the back story, it can be hard to make someone really feel for a character, but you did it. Great work!

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  3. That was beautifully written! Well done!

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  4. Great job, Laura. Good descriptions of what's going on. I liked how his s.o. is quietly sleeping while a storm is brewing, in more ways than one.

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    1. Thank you! Yes, I think something would be missing if there was no storm :)

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  5. Well done that was excellent, you get my vote..... Not that it will make much difference. You are at 99 followers WELL COOL. I don't think I am likely to get that many followers until 2058

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    1. Thank you! I think you will get more followers, I love your blog, it's unique :)

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  6. Very little writing experience?? That was fantastic!

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  7. So sad....love to hear the backstory. Sounds like a good mystery lead-in to me. ;-) [Follower #101]

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    1. Thanks for following! And thanks for the kind words :)

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  8. This is great. I might (might) try this but only two days to go.

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  9. Good, ominous build-up of dread...it's so true how, when we're about to face some momentous occasion, we truly see that which has been all around us, all along.

    Some Dark Romantic

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    1. Thanks! It is true, you tend to notice the little, insignificant things more :)

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  10. A good stormy image. Teary, too.

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  11. Wow, that was... really really good. So much emotion behind this one little scene. Great job!

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  12. Wow, hurry up and write a book already! That scene was great. I love the descriptions, how they were so different, but called a very clear picture to your mind. Beautiful!

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  13. Hello? Amazing. I have goosebumps.

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  14. For someone who says they have little experience you sure are a natural then. Very well written and I loved every word!

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    1. Thank you very much, I'm glad you liked it! :)

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  15. I'm trying to think of reasons he almost stayed, but didn't. It didn't seem that he was anxious to leave her...ok. Finish the book.

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  16. Yup. I'm, with Donna. I want the whole story. =)

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  17. Wonderful writing. I wonder where he's going and why he's leaving the family he loves.

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  18. "he glided down the stairs"

    I think this is the night he died and he has once last chance to leave something for her to say farewell by.

    Loved it. Well done!

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  19. Very sad scene! Rain is a perfect setting for it.

    Allison (Geek Banter)

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    1. That's what I thought, it sets the scene really well :)

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  20. Nicely done. One wouldl only leave their love during a thunderstorm.

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    1. Thanks! I thought it was a great setting :)

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  21. That was amazing. Is he a secret agent? That would be awesome :P

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    1. Thank you! He's not a secret agent, although that would be a good idea! :)

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  22. Beautiful writing. I really want to know why he was leaving. Sad and touching scene.

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  23. I'm also curious to know why he had to leave.

    You did very well at showing me what went on in his thoughts. :-)

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    1. Thanks! I really thought it wasn't very good when I put it up :)

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  24. I was wondering at first if he was going to commit suicide... glad to see him alive but very curious as to the why he left???

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    1. Oh no, I don't know if I'd be able to write about suicide! :)

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  25. Aww! I wonder why he’s leaving. How sad! Such a great flash fiction story.

    I'll announce the finalists tomorrow.

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    1. Thanks! It is very sad, I didn't know it was going to be until I started writing :)

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  26. coward or hero? great descriptions!

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